Paul Boccaccio

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-05-13

Paul — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

in flatland, they pray the angleus #
When someone mentions their "inner child" I think they believe in preformationism and then get angry at them for playing favorites. #
Just compared my sister to a fainting goat. #
"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." — wittgenstein (incentive to learn &/or make a language to match your perception.) #
@danaROrana #accuracy is the best #policy in reply to danaROrana #
pack the levee with bags of coffee #
@monicabyrne13 hello hospital or hello discomfort? in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 (orbital epinephrine deployment drones powering down) in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Coworker has referred to her ongoing pursuit of understanding what I am even talking about as "paulanthropy comprehensive reasoning studies" #
@damiengwalter just found: @kellanbc, @dialoghost, @othersome. Thoughts percolating re phrase novelty versus uncanniness; brands of tentacle #
@damiengwalter Familiar weird v kind of unsettling fic that reprints familiar categories. So many squids out there, they're getting cuddly. #
i can never remember if skin is made of keratin or ketamine or what but I guess it depends whose skin right #
mise en Jim Beam #
@monicabyrne13 better than kelvlar, which is I guess just armor measured by a different scale? in reply to monicabyrne13 #
how long until milquetoast grocerystore dwelling hermit feels ashamed that aisle-wide pasta barricade includes pretentious wholewheat penne? #
barricades, palisades, limeades, lampshades. how ironic, so many pleasant ones. and yet #
Voted against amendment one. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for a second man who wants insurance. #
today voted against a terrible law & ate a burrito while driving; didn't even dribble any on my pants. Basically i'm Burrito Revere. #Ladies #
@AllisoNicole86 and I am eating spinach leaves at work. Clearly you win this exchange. in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
@monicabyrne13 thanks for the link. It doesn't look promising, here at the start… #Amendment1 #against in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@plasticbrentley the response from the folks we know bothers me most. They will know you by your love for one another, indeed. in reply to plasticbrentley #
Know your sewer's sickness by its sumptoms. #
plantar warts taut with semiotic liquid; communicable qualia vacuoles; all underfoot material; assembly of loam & bridges into organ system. #
mantequila = agave butter #
@othersome better than an argument with a strip mined and ignorant people, though. #
#wotd is "rio." as in "river" or "I just bought two plane tickets to Rio Janeiro." #
@monicabyrne13 the flight from buenos aires to rdu is literally double the cost. talk about disincentive. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 many, many buses. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Like Coach said, "There is no 'i' in 'whiskey.'" #
"cognatic descent" ISN'T sitting around drunkenly yelling "yer mam" at one another to determine lineage? humans, you disappoint me YET AGAIN #
examining sun chips for Mayan influence. #
look I know vengeance is technically yours all right that's cool I just wanna see it for a sec #
Loganline, the story of a young clawed mutant taking field trips with his French boarding school #
Black Widow's Web: she weaves words into her web and steals gems to save her friend, Wilburine, who is Some Mutant #
tie-dyerwolves, dangerous hippie pack #
Reign in Lymph #
@dialoghost THAT IDIOT IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. in reply to dialoghost #
@monicabyrne13 they'll eat anything insensate in reply to monicabyrne13 #
grave rhymes with shave. what does that mean. you guys. #
@realvalnolan Nietzsche in da club, Nietzsche on da roof, Nietzsche in a random taxicab, Nietzsche reclining by mountain spring with a lyre. in reply to realvalnolan #
Chev Neufchâtelios, cheeseheart #
@realvalnolan I also. Even with Nietzsche there yammering about death and so on. #
Via @realvalnolan, the glories of ireland. http://t.co/hM5BVJ8S #
@realvalnolan ineffectual Garda! Inexplicable sport! So good. So good. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan that's called a "police siren" over here. (still not over or understanding the bus shriek, true, nor the casual acceptance it) in reply to realvalnolan #
@monicabyrne13 the quotesea is the best part in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@realvalnolan that is terrifying. I think Detroit has a similar problem, but they blame theirs on Canada. in reply to realvalnolan #
Masque of the Red Def Jam #
"feral wheeze mittens" = my slurname for the kind of lungs that do not cooperate. …i am just trying to say i'm sorry you have asthma okay. #
@dropping_dombs hushup, piggie's got the conch. (this is my favorite thing to say when somebody else is getting interrupted) in reply to dropping_dombs #
I call her Auretha Franklins because that voice is gold money. #
2019 – Monsanto creates tobacco-scuppernong hybrid vines that can live on Venus. The scent of their leaves causes immediate liver damage. #
kittenrobots with emotive AI and programmed sneezes bring the butlerian squeehad #
@plasticbrentley best kid moue award. are those his glasses? in reply to plasticbrentley #
whaletail wedgie, a cetacean section #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-05-06

Paul — Sun, 06 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

"Oh well, she's just not… A thinker, you know?" — my mother, cognition specialist #
Just saw john kessel at the elvis costello concert in Durham. Like whoa, man. #
doctor whiskey. is it possible. that you are not a real certified cardiologist. is that true. #
sleep to this. http://t.co/YRhRmUVo #
sleep to anything, honestly. just sleep. #
Toyota Romulus approaches a dump truck, blocks traffic. #
My grandmother has just voted against amendment one in NC. #YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH #impressed #
@dropping_dombs #AmendmentShun in reply to dropping_dombs #
Phaselus ille, quem uidetis, hospites,
ait fuisse nauium celerrimus,
neque ullius natantis impetum trabis
nequisse praeterire… #
@AllisoNicole86 my parents too! I'm so proud. in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
@plasticbrentley grandma did not freeze herself in a glacier during the second ice age only to reawaken at our hour of need for THIS America in reply to plasticbrentley #
@plasticbrentley Patrick Henry would not die for the sins of this Harris Teeter America. in reply to plasticbrentley #
@plasticbrentley Nah, snooki kissed dating goodbye so she can carry her best life now for a purpose driven pregnancy by the powers of jabez. in reply to plasticbrentley #
@damiengwalter or Beige Leicester, Tan Leicester, Delightfully Neutral Eggshell Leicester in reply to damiengwalter #
"Наша Таня громко плачет:
Уронила в речку мячик.
- Тише, Танечка, не плачь:
Не утонет в речке мяч." — агния барто #
New game: 1) Draw a perfect square on a piece of paper. 2) Convince yourself that it's upside down.
Congratulations, now you're an adult. #
worst day ever, won't you back that thang up. can I crawl into the sewer, won't you back that thang up. #
hey doctor whiskey, doctor brandy, doctor gin: you can steal away my mixer but you cannot take my burrrr-bin. #
@vyemoran both of them, I should hope. I am leaping around my apartment with excitement. in reply to vyemoran #
if the writers of the new testament epistles had any sense of privacy they would have never #
#wotd is "ferrule." #
@damiengwalter or walking stick, yeah. Tools to jab at the world. in reply to damiengwalter #
Queen Pyhrric Victoria #
@dropping_dombs tomes o' pomes or git y'seff home, holmes. in reply to dropping_dombs #
stackin groats like a moneystoat reekin of usury, you voles on the tollbridge, gitcha ta choosin me #
In the plagiarized words of my coworker: after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. #coffeemugcatladyjokes #
@monicabyrne13 with angels like this, who needs devils? or anything else, really. #tildafficiency in reply to monicabyrne13 #
"Noli hoc tangere." — Christus Hammer #
(it's probably better "posse non tangere" but WHATEVER y'all, nemo omnia potest sciri) #
still bad at Latin dot xanga dot edu slash zombocom slash give up #
@dropping_dombs is that puttybaby taped to an anti-medicine propaganda piece? in reply to dropping_dombs #
@taylor_audrey thanks! There is always something good in each day. in reply to taylor_audrey #
@monicabyrne13 even my correction wasn't correct: it's more like "non posse hoc tangere", still unsure of case. mistakes in public #ohaaaaay in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 also, I have lost my taste for very sweet things. Though that caramel whatsit sounds good. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
RT @mjohnharrison: "there is nothing 'inside' a word" http://t.co/JCoCtRv0 via @dialoghost #
parce que moi je rêve, moi je ne le suis pas #
Replace the "get to know your coworkers" section of the corporate intraweb with the DSM-IV #
@monicabyrne13 all we wee folk win that joust. #weewee #weeeeeducation in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 OH I WONDER IF. THEY WILL HAVE. LINGUISTICS. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
hallucinating roofdogs yes will mercy be to eat the horses just so roofdogs won't tear at them I don't know I said if that counts as mercy I #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-04-29

Paul — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

gene porting per environment RT @nalohopkinson: … imagine how this is going to change science fiction! http://t.co/9jAZ5AdM #xna #dna #rna #
yet another reason why I love France: RT @FRANCE24: Twitter users circumvent French law with #WWII codes http://t.co/07o5hBOI #Radiolondres #
Zounds. #
learning language as terraforming thought topography; logic process geometry; metaphors: flora as climate placeholder, fauna as motive map. #
"Идет бычок, качается, /
Вздыхает на ходу: /
- Ох, доска кончается, /
Сейчас я упаду!" — nursery rhyme #
Count Dushku #
THANKS FOR TIDYING UP, MOM. NOW ALL MY FRIENDS ARE PROBABLY DEAD. #magicschoolbus #
@monicabyrne13 the two forms of "to be" in Spanish, also. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@vyemoran @allisonicole86 as if anybody needed more reasons to live there. in reply to vyemoran #
CPR on a bag of chips #
@ferretthimself SIR. SIR I SALUTE YOUR CHOICES SIR. in reply to ferretthimself #
"hmm, cookie dough. this will be the fourth time I have brushed my teeth today." — @danaROrana, dental hygiene enthusiast #
@ferretthimself so tempting. Alas, I will attend neither. Are you in new England? I may make a trip up there this summer… in reply to ferretthimself #
@ferretthimself yes, please. I shake you warmly by the hand, and will do so in person One Day Soon. in reply to ferretthimself #
It's a shame: every time I try to write "soon" I type "doom." #
Making list of all the things the art world has taken from me. Short list. So far: the ability to use the word "statuesque" with precision. #
I wonder if my phone has realized yet that I will want to type "the" much more often than "ye." Apparently not. #
Oh man this lady on "the state of things" is huffing her own brain fumes. #
@MollyRingwald does she rinse it out, or leave it bristling? in reply to MollyRingwald #
Listening to "the state of things." tammy talks like a politician, keeps spewing the same sound bite. #
Also tammy on "the state of things" considers "civil rights" to apply excusively to African Americans? #
"there is no legal or natural right to same sex marriage." — Tammy, guest on "the state of things" #
anyway, now @monicabyrne13 is on "The State of Things," on WUNC 91.5 FM, talking about her new play, WHAT EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW #
The pro-amendment spokesperson on @wunc's @state_of_things today is named Tami Fitzgerald. #
She called legally recognized marriage btw homosexual people "imposed redefinition of marriage" that went against all time human definition. #
RT @Vote4MarriageNC: Chairwoman Tami Fitzgerald during an interview with John Roberts of Fox News. #4MarriageNC http://t.co/1ljgNRYh #
no no see of course you know what I respect most about you is your loud & pseudosassy conformity. please tell this story for the third time. #
@monicabyrne13 how passionate she is protecting those she considers her people–what wonderful work she could do if she loved widely instead in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 but then, "you would be a good person if you were a different person" is not really much salve. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@vyemoran crossing my fingers even now. in reply to vyemoran #
Quod tu es, ego fui; quod nunc sum, et tu eris. #
Best part of a diverse workplace: just clarified the difference between коллега (colleague) & товарищ (comrade, no longer used w/o irony). #
Aberrant monstrosity #wotd is "biffle." Usage: I would rather plant bot flies in my sinuses than use the word "biffle." #bfl #
Уронили мишку на пол,
Оторвали мишке лапу.
Все равно его не брошу —
Потому что он хороший. — nursery rhyme about a teddy bear #
Makkad-man, makkad-man. does anything that a makkad-man does. http://t.co/EAwLncQQ #
Same cocoa puff, same coco chanel #
BEES IN THE TRACK BEE BEES IN THE TRACK. BEES IN THE TRACK BEE BEES IN THE TRACK. #somanybees #
tribal Jesus fish SUV window decal sighting. #
Capitalism considered as an elaborate experiment to create human veal from future generations of rich folk. Clan Kardashian Kobe-style pork. #
"It’s worth considering the idea that we won’t." RT @damiengwalter: How will writers make a living in the future? http://t.co/ZZ8gU7G4 #
@damiengwalter writers maybe won't get paid then, but people will always compensate effective storytelling (not that money = only method) in reply to damiengwalter #
@damiengwalter when humans stop telling stories, it will be time to redefine the species. in reply to damiengwalter #
@pata_sucia The best teacher eval is a column of unlabeled bubbled-in pencil marks on loose leaf. Grade that on a curve, Dr Fancyletters. in reply to pata_sucia #
So thrush is a disease. Makes me wonder what symptoms 'flamingo' expresses. #
@dropping_dombs i heard that contracting the gay leads to voting and sometimes vegetarianism. are these diseases linked. #thedearabbyagenda in reply to dropping_dombs #
@rquat people make stories all the time; comparing experience is how most people relate. we'll always pay for stories, esp pleasurable ones. in reply to rquat #
@danaROrana while we, on the other hand, are like sauce and meatballs. In a word: awesome. #dang #welldaaaaang cf @dropping_dombs in reply to danaROrana #
Let's build a future in which no sane person would dare to grow old. #tcot #
There is a fracture. (via my father) http://t.co/xT7i3gif #
@monicabyrne13 good resources. I'm going to gather a list of language resources–prep for Belize, maybe. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
"would someone give me a loan? I'd like to purchase that scone. my closet song is a koan. solution? gargle that 'trón." –kanye #
Finished a very rough draft of a short story last night. Learned not to let so much time worm between initial impetus & final work. #
Hemingway: kind of a dick, but also correct. RT @brainpicker: "Forget your personal tragedy…" Hemingway to Fitzgerald http://t.co/q0kFcVal #
@mkazoo thanks! Also: envious of last night's show. And how. in reply to mkazoo #
TETSUUUUUUOOOOO #
@tdelucci I've read the comic, but I'm watching 'Akira' for the first time. in reply to tdelucci #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-04-22

Paul — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Scrambling eighteen eggs whilst wearing an Iron Man mask. As one does. #
@JulieByrneHUCS those pickles never stood a chance. also, hello! in reply to JulieByrneHUCS #
Babe babe babe schmoopsie babe boyfriend babe love nouglette babe. No names, no never again. Babe. #petnamearmageddon #pleasestop #babe #
Dreamt I was a butterfly. Wait. #SecondaryWorldProblems #
@realvalnolan and I guess the Irish only had the chavalry–or is that word only used in the UK? #
I want to make some masks but I think I need to know some more science first. #
Symbiosis between the reasoning mind and a skin-suit painted with capsaicin. Welcome. Yes. #
Nobody has ever said, "Let me prove maturity & poise by squirting this packet of strawberry preserves directly into my mouth." And yet. #
@realvalnolan A word befitting only current subjects of the Queen, not us former ones. in reply to realvalnolan #
@dropping_dombs truly the Harvard of filler class providing institutions quite close to one's parents' house that are also not too expensive in reply to dropping_dombs #
@mkazoo every part of that gold mermaid chaplin sounds brilliant. in reply to mkazoo #
saw a photo of my friend, who is nine, wearing a pink princess helmet while she reads a book. 1, she is doing it right. 2, I want that book. #
If Tupac were dead, he'd be spinning in his grave. #
Game: corporate training, google the examples; when you find that presenter cribbed it all, ask increasingly specific prescient questions. #
Nerd = when somebody says a thing is in "bad shape" and you think of the goban. #
DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND ONLY COMMUNICATED THROUGH TELEGRAM LIKE ME STOP #
don't you wish your girlfriend was built of nested clocks, each with a mechanism of bone, the smallest so thin they are translucent… like me #
don't you wish your girlfriend incanted mysteries beneath a close-leaning moon before the deep takes all, soundlessly, irretrievable…like me #
@glorioushubris when we finally make the automata, we'll give them penis bones so at least some hindwalkers will match the other animals in reply to glorioushubris #
@glorioushubris and the ones who don't have/want penises can wear them as horns—consider unicorns invented. (anyway i like your version too) in reply to glorioushubris #
@glorioushubris my pseudonym will be harlan r.r. le sterchiangalaznymov, & the ascension of my star will be more brilliant from the ground. #
@glorioushubris i'll edit an anthology after my short story sales; you'll be in it & we'll all buy an island, nebhugola awards for all. in reply to glorioushubris #
let's play the taxes drinking game: first, you fill out your tax return, and then you start drinking. #
mommy needs her wine, in other words. #
wait wait so i am actually happier when i have more money? then why is everybody telling me… oh. right. you have my money. #
see ok suggestion all right what if i write you some books yeah then can we trade & i give you books & you give me money. all the money yes. #
My fire-raining vengeance against a world that exists so early. May Snoop have mercy on your souls. #fromorbit http://t.co/2FmOGeKg #
Want @warrenellis's new mug, WRITERS DON'T RETIRE, http://t.co/5i8COO9a but if I buy it I won't be able to afford to pour anything into it. #
My dream job is to be the guy that the banker imprisons in chekhov's "the bet." #
@alisonluntz I have longer thoughts too, but twitter is a form I've gotten used to–used to the stricture. Ones pares down to fit it all in. in reply to alisonluntz #
@alisonluntz and of course if you need a follow up tweet, follow that sucker up. And then hit him with a sock stuffed with nickels. in reply to alisonluntz #
@alisonluntz (besides which, I don't think I'm particularly "good." I just say jokes. I use twitter like no risk standup, most of the time.) in reply to alisonluntz #
Princess James Bond: License to Frill #
@dropping_dombs born a rapscallion, die a dandy. #caintstop #shantstop in reply to dropping_dombs #
@themattlondon go for it. Are you & @thejordache still in NYC? I'm coming up for a weekend; i'd like to catch up. in reply to themattlondon #
@dropping_dombs ruff rhyedahz http://t.co/KXSskdTV #braaaaahhhhhh in reply to dropping_dombs #
He is no fool who loses what he cannot keep to gain a seaplane and some bear-y good friends. #tailspin #
Do all of these once a year RT @brainpicker necessary, yet so sad in its necessity: 50 things to do before you are 11 ¾ http://t.co/EU24bR7Q #
Even after all this time /
The sun never says to the earth, /
“You owe me." — Hafez #
i mean just thousands of bees all snorting crushed up ritalin off urinal cakes, waving fronds of poison ivy and shouting bigoted slogans. #
let's think about the future. http://t.co/uOIFZt7h #
@MrDannyNoel i'll be the curator of your declining mind, sure. in reply to MrDannyNoel #
Where women glow and men chunder? #
Sludge blood in the brain pan the color of clay /
Yup buddy I'm glad it's wed-nes-day. #
@apopa Necraustralia. Is exactly identical to actual Australia. in reply to apopa #
A story written in spinal fluid and bacteria on a substrate of stem cells. #
Pooping is gross, this is true, but never pooping is far grosser. #
"We can't spell 'estrogen,' but we can spell 'bitch.'" — actual slogan on 100.3 The Buzz, Raleigh, NC #what #
@plasticbrentley wait wait is that today? in reply to plasticbrentley #
@plasticbrentley whew. I want to sound my bitsy bell of freedom at the booth but I can't leave work today. in reply to plasticbrentley #
with the liberal application of magnesium I will #
@AllisoNicole86 I think you mean #holytshirtdayBatman in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
Somebody noticed how erudite my snarky company-wide emails are, and now I get to rewrite the developers' manual for new employee training. #
technical writing is my jam, y'all. #
@AllisoNicole86 my prose will be so cogent, a chimp stoned on Percocet will be able to understand it. in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
@damiengwalter *cleans gun properly, files off serial numbers, hands it back* in reply to damiengwalter #
@lizargall AH NOE WRYT? in reply to lizargall #
New house rule for kids under 10: you can write whatever you want on the walls, as long as you write in Latin. #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-04-15

Paul — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Taming Romeo & King Hambethlet's Night Dream of Veronice Tale. #newplay #
@wigu thanks for having me over yesterday. Hope your liquor hunt goes smoothly this even. Woo holidays. #
@hey_friend thanks for having me over yesterday! And for listening/contributing to endless lint-level examination of that book. wooo #
@wigu certainly! in reply to wigu #
Leaving Connecticut. Goodbye, wasp-land. Reading guy davis's "the marquis" on the flight, with barf bag bookmark. #
Apt pretzel for the holy day: http://t.co/UOo9VkNH #
Fratniss? #
"dear oh dear, bread and beer; if I were married then I wouldn't be here." –my 103 year old great-grandmother, Benedetta Boccaccio #
My great-grandmother, Benedetta Boccaccio, was in the paper: http://t.co/fIjbvi9p #
@GuyDavisART "inferno" is an excellent book. the movement in your panels is superb, & the line work is brilliant. Can't wait for "midwife." #
Following your dreams is not enough; you have to stalk them. #
Cravatniss. (autocorrects to "cravat bias") #
@AllisoNicole86 I second that emotion. in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
Internal survey findings: I want to go to Canada. In the summer. On a motorcycle. #
My brain corrects the word "beefcake" to "meatloaf" every time. #
Oh world, is this why I will never be one? #beefloaf #waitwhat #bee #floaf #? #
@lizargall I forgot to direct my musings on the subject of beaflöf to you. Is a weird word, beefcake, and I cannae parse it. in reply to lizargall #
Thousand words of a new short story. #writing #
Half my brain will program this website while the other half compiles a list of the similarities between katniss and the batman. #batniss #
Few pimps of my acquaintance have pimples. #etymologicaldeceit #
@monicabyrne13 I find that pointing your chin up helps, because then you can jab problems with it. #chinstabs in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@hey_friend oh hey, holly! #
Game: fashion a me-sized chrysalis out of papier-mâché in front yard; claw out of it screaming "You promised. You promised me better." #
The toupee considered as projected identity body modification. #
@MaryRobinette The sky above the port was the color of glass, cast to a dull glamour. #GlamourInGlass1stLines #
Winnie-the-pooh is an odd book if you replace "honey" with "mustard." #
yes tell me once again forever how so singing smart you are & maybe how your brain beams laser beacons into space for us mud-gargling stoops #
To Esme, With Fear and Loathing Where the Red Fern Grows #mashupstories #
guys guys i found a cut on my palm & it is too far off centre toward my thumb to be the stigmata but i am anyhow worried it is the stigmata. #
your valued relative is so ugly that when he stared into the abyss, it flinched. #
@dropping_dombs tweet-town needs more #vanguardistas welcome to the internet. in reply to dropping_dombs #
the shins new album, port of morrow, is pretty okay. standout: september http://t.co/vQKuOogN #
Under our softly burning lamp she Takes her time Telling stories of our possible lives And love is the ink in the well when her body writes. #
@monicabyrne13 consultant of ephemera, phenomena, elastecclesiastica in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@taylor_audrey @tiffaniangus can we please compile an anthology called "innocent soils" please in reply to taylor_audrey #
And only in Ireland would the driver neglect to crack the windows for his minicow. RT @realvalnolan: Only in Ireland: http://t.co/T4vmypDj #
Can't help but think if I had a suit of armor made of tooth enamel I would probably have to brush it daily. #
Other warriors would rub lemons and taffy on it SO AS TO WEAKEN ME. I would feel guilty about not flossing the greaves. #
Shan't lie, stressing a little about the responsibility of upkeep on this fictional tooth suit. #
Game: install humidity sensor in bathroom. When vapor saturation = amount caused by a shower, loudspeaker plays shrill & endless screams. #
@mkazoo my original idea was a robot arm that throws flour on you when you open the shower curtain. Eventually you would be bread! Tasty fun in reply to mkazoo #
@rstevens Pirates of the Caribbean VI: Sparrow's Run in reply to rstevens #
I wouldn't say "strung out," I would say, "automagical maraca-hands" #
@mkazoo now I am jonesing with shaky fervor to read some Jamaica Kincaid. And/or to see that dance. in reply to mkazoo #
man I just want to know some more about science. is that a thing I can do. #
@hey_friend cuff links and hatpins? Bonus because the cuff links double as kung fu darts & the hatpins as shivs. Just in case. #
@damiengwalter if you give atheists hallucinogenic drugs they become pantheists. in reply to damiengwalter #
@gralinnaea @damiengwalter if you give a mouse a cookie, he becomes a hedonist. in reply to gralinnaea #
@gralinnaea @damiengwalter give a mouse to a cookie, & you get carnivorous comestibles. #science in reply to gralinnaea #
Need to leave work so I can do my taxes, and by "taxes" I mean "build a head out of Legos" #
@monicabyrne13 a thousand new things to know every minute, woo science in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@mkazoo I'd heard barthelme was something like that, too? Sort of mosaic stories… He's next in line, so we'll see. in reply to mkazoo #
@mkazoo blind writer comparison woo. i like mapping forms with correlative synaesthesia, each method describing some dimension of inner life in reply to mkazoo #
@monicabyrne13 SCIENCE. will look around. in my, you know, spare time. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Moooooorniiiiiing #jazzhands http://t.co/FM5bx4gh #
@dropping_dombs the Voice of your generation, momzing like a scrapbooker. some people look up to you; it's true. in reply to dropping_dombs #
@realvalnolan I suppose it's Catholic hail? #Mary #fullofgrace in reply to realvalnolan #
@tobiasbuckell is it about how Cyrus sold his soul at the crossroads for "achy breaky heart?" in reply to tobiasbuckell #
batch of frownies. presto depressed, yo. mayor of frowntown. eagle over sucks mountain. townies touring teartropolis. distraught to trot. #
@taylor_audrey the Keats version is a TB-themed remake of Crank in reply to taylor_audrey #
Wub-awubwubwubwubs #wubs http://t.co/oHNVLlRK #
Jane Goodall sailing with the douchecanoe navy. #
Says the guy eating pickle slices directly out of the jar with both hands. #
@realvalnolan nice! back in the day, Ireland must have had a cavalry to rival the Assyrians. in reply to realvalnolan #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-04-08

Paul — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

@joe_hill the shorter oed is a pleasant weight in paper, two two thousand page volumes, and you get it digitally also. in reply to joe_hill #
when that root beer is the surest soda, / the draught with ice-cream will be scoopéd to the floate #
@kateulinah and bathed each sip, barbados rum, / which adds directly to one's bum. in reply to kateulinah #
@kateulinah i don't think rum even has any calories in it. but it rhymed, so i guess that's poetry, right? in reply to kateulinah #
@rquat sure, but i didn't think the error was grave enough for anybody to call me on it… #badumcymbal #operationpoetgrammarfreedom in reply to rquat #
Quelque fois j'oublie que mon clavier est bloqué à la valeur français. #
well. thank you so very very much. for your help. jazz-min. #sass #hairflip #hedgehogtiara #
-otron, -asaur, -omaniac, -iconocrat, -daderp #suffixes #
look, if i had a superpower, it would be something like being able to replace all the linguine in somebody's life with shoelaces. forever. #
"i don't know what you're COMPLAINING about–those shoelaces are egyptian cotton. probably taste better than linguine ANYWAY." #
And walk among long dappled grass
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver porkchop of the moon
The sharp green kiwis of the sun #
@realvalnolan argh, the photos of the hike you sent me; veins a-coursing with envy. also, does a horse oversee every trail in sweet éirinn? in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan ungulate fiscal vigilance = a pack of jackasses huddled under a tiger skin. in reply to realvalnolan #
@tripsonsunlight when you say "foil" I think of fencing. don't know what you're doing (involves bleach?) but sword-spine-head image was ++g. in reply to tripsonsunlight #
Lunchbox = pizza box. #
"We represent the Lollipop Guild. Follow us if you want to live." #
red flamingos, expensive wine. #
@lizargall when auto-correct is too zealous i imagine you speaking in a russian accent, with appropriately enthusiastic hand-gestures. in reply to lizargall #
@alisonluntz a lie from the devil. heaps on heaps on heaps are the answer to organisation. any other answer supports GROSSLY FASCIST FASCISM in reply to alisonluntz #
@alisonluntz girl. #swoon in reply to alisonluntz #
@alisonluntz tortuous machines indeed. socks be free. blouses gotta blouse. pants gotta lay in heaps that embarrass my mother to her friends in reply to alisonluntz #
the leaves will bury every year http://t.co/Nfs1HLiQ #
finished drafting the short story i began this week. #writing #
…and i may have just purchased over eight hundred legos. #waelp #makingthings #
@monicabyrne13 #airguitar #kermitflail in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@tiffaniangus GO. YOU GO. #confettigun #writing #eeeeeeeeeeee in reply to tiffaniangus #
woke up before my alarm, refreshed, ready to start a full and productive day. #lololololololol #facefloorwheelbarrow #plonkingfeet #
@monicabyrne13 i will have the remedy for your brick-less childhood. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@tiffaniangus speaking of, do you know what is pretty neat, in a compulsive way? writers' #everydaycarry photos. like: http://t.co/fvrF46HQ in reply to tiffaniangus #
So apparently @Liz_Hand has written a book about Rimbaud, called Radiant Days. Out next week. best book spring. #slathering #
Was machst du hier, mein kleine Kätzchen?
Ich mache Blut und Schmerz und Glut–ja, ich mache doch besonders gut. #
…apparently I have now written my first sing-songy metal lyric in German? #kvlt #middlymiddlymeeeee #
I think today I will fly to Connecticut. #thefuture #
@kateulinah Teleportation by force of will: I shall invent it. in reply to kateulinah #
This week: newsruckus surrounding that "girls around me" app & excitement for google's augmented reality visor. Obvious intersection = |:( #
not a bigot, more an average git. #
Just Be-Gauzed: my line of trauma themed greeting cards #
In connecticut, even the airport is named 'bradley.' #whitepeople #
Read delany's "babel-17" on the flight. Still organizing my response… #
@monicabyrne13 ah, deuterium. (Because those were in all caps, I interpreted them as encyclopedia cross references) in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Writing the first chapters of a middle grade novel. #
Scent of the batman. http://t.co/J0BxiP5z #
@taylor_audrey I don't; middle grade is what I'm hoping for, and the tone I'm using. But at this point, who even knows what it'll be. in reply to taylor_audrey #
@taylor_audrey I am now imagining your lemur doppelgänger. in reply to taylor_audrey #
New show: What Not To Grok #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-04-01

Paul — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Took me one read-through to find & solve the error that stymied me all week. I now can't understand my previous thought process. #
@realvalnolan re the drunken Irish stereotype breaking into the queen's yard: does every drunken Irishman want to be Sophie from 'the BFG?' in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan secondly, you have no idea how much I want to be walking the prom this very minute, fog or no. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan please put out a periodical entitled "Every Drunken Irishman." it is for educational purposes. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan a pirate's funeral in the rain, wherein the priest is drunk & we all take communion only to supersymbolically throw up after. in reply to realvalnolan #
@damiengwalter Cajun chicken biscuit from bojangles, here in the American south. It's like a scone with meat in. in reply to damiengwalter #
@damiengwalter Join us, Damien. Join the Gilded Assembly of Meat Scones. in reply to damiengwalter #
Church of Our Lady of Meat Scones. #
@damiengwalter but in the UK, "capital" means "really good," doesn't it? I know your culture; I seen you guys wearing waistcoats. in reply to damiengwalter #
@realvalnolan the shriek of human souls only sounds in the bus. The hearse will play four bars of a lost Miles Davis recording, over & over. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan I thought the official national anthem was "green wee ti-garrs, you work for old Śíńń Fáíń…" sung to the tune of "o Canada". in reply to realvalnolan #
@monicabyrne13 I wonder if tasmania's tourism dept approves of this scandalous behavior. I just wonder, is all. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
YUSS. RT @hollyblack: I am really, really, really excited for the release of BLACK HEART on April 3rd. It’s the … http://t.co/M7tYI6x7 #
Weekend score: dad found an oldish beautifully bound copy of Henry clay's translation of the divine comedy #
My brother sometimes includes citations from urbandictionary in his letters to me. #mylawn #gerrolfit #
Celtic vengeance. RT @realvalnolan: Oh Ireland, I look at you baring your collective flabby body to a vengeful sun god and I say, 'Me too!'. #
Add to weekend delights: @danaROrana made The Sauce What Would Tempt An Entire Monastery To Misdeeds. #lunch #wutup #
current cultural curators: @mkazoo, dance; @monicabyrne13, theatre; @damiengwalter, books & yelling about them; @GreatDismal, extemporanea. #
@damiengwalter yeah. It's more like an earnest environmental sermon than an sf novel. in reply to damiengwalter #
@Cait_Elizabeth I concur. You have some neat siblings yourself, doncha. in reply to Cait_Elizabeth #
@mkazoo got video of nureyev/fonteyn's swan lake. i still have no functional dance vocabulary, so trying to describe it is getting hilarious in reply to mkazoo #
they made a tongueless beast that parrots lines: http://t.co/AfRDKNi0 #
While i wrote i froze, and what i could not write by the beams of the sun i finished by candlelight. –some scribe #
new game: british food or skin disease? examples: neeps, stovies, cawl, bubble and squeak, toad in the hole, &c. #
Don't say 'pretty' when you mean 'talented.' #
Game: Find someone from another country & whenever you see him, start whispering the words to his national anthem. Don't blink. #
@indiangurl4lyfe peau d'ane fits that description. in reply to indiangurl4lyfe #
@indiangurl4lyfe clearly this person lives on the bleeding edge. Vanguardista, indeed. in reply to indiangurl4lyfe #
just need to know if there is already an emoticon for vomiting pelican or #
how many fad diets do you need to invent before you really make it big. is there like an average or whatever. #handfulsdiet #
@timpratt you could get a fence to sell them on alibris, or build something cool out of them, as @MadHatterReview suggested… in reply to MadHatterReview #
@damiengwalter I bought a Cajun meatscone today and forgot to send you a photo. Sorry. #
@monicabyrne13 glad they interest you. Guess I won't move to tweeting only excerpts of the inferno paraphrased by kermit the frog, then. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@alisonluntz someone, either me or you. Flip for it. Though "the mosaic of all diets" is perhaps better termed "gluttony" or "scavenging." in reply to alisonluntz #
"What's all that?" Timmy asked. #mantra #
hahahahahahahaha RT “@YeeGlish7360: @paulboccaccio wow,this diet plan taking on storm in US, . [spamlink]" #
@tripsonsunlight hey, I have a friend who's thinking of trying for aveda. Can I give her your contact stuff? in reply to tripsonsunlight #
the #handfulsdiet can halt hurricanes, silence cyclones; a game-changer, love-deranger; it'll buff out your soul and make you feel whole. #
@monicabyrne13 the constant wind doesn't help either. I'm surprised there wasn't an x-character at some point called "the diet." in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 argh, crossed my weird spam jokes with inferno jokes. To be fair I just passed the circle where everybody is buffeted by wind in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 storm is an x-men character who can control the weather, and I guess she makes it snow a lot? Also make it windy. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 and some spambot sent me something about a diet "taking on storm" right when you sent that. So. Ehh… Jokes: I got em. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 (not quite sashimi-grade, sadly) in reply to monicabyrne13 #
MT @timpratt: Confirmation that [poet Adrianne] Rich has died. I know what books I'll be re-reading tonight. http://t.co/f57fzUDa #
want want want RT “@FRANCE24: Swiss solar plane to attempt 48-hour flight to Morocco http://t.co/gexlALnH” #
leaving work while the sun is still up. #hssss #
I hope the horrifying rendition of the birds & bees talk I just gave @danaROrana is enough to scare her away from boys, storks, & hospitals. #
It was: the bee grabs some pollen, flies over a river, gets eaten by a fish, which gets eaten by a stork. The stork can't digest the pollen- #
–so the stork tries to vomit, but can't, because the frothing mass of pollen and half-digested fish is too dense and clogs its esophagus– #
-so it flails about the marsh, seeking death, never finding it. It hears a faint whistling that speaks to its soul on an evolutionary level- #
-the stork follows the whistling to find a woman, her belly button a tiny whistling mouth. The whistling is the perfect pitch– #
-that loosens the gullet of the bird. The uterus of the girl crawls out of her belly button like a feeding starfish and devours the stork– #
-it feeds on the pollen, slowly digesting it over a nine month period. When the uterus is done, it poops out what is left. #
You are, therefore, the death of a honeybee, a fish, a stork, and a rumbling dream. Happy birthday, kid. #
@taylor_audrey convince your panic hamster to play punk rock. in reply to taylor_audrey #
@taylor_audrey (also: you will kick a butt, at least–maybe all the butts. I don't know how many exactly; I'm not a scientist.) in reply to taylor_audrey #
Princess gummi vitamins, all day, every day. Er, I mean, "rye in a tin cup, misogyny, pretty dead things, and boxing" #hemingwayhairflip #
@monicabyrne13 if I can make even one person wish they were a cleanly manufactured robot, I will not have lived in vain. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 meh, vielleicht ich kann ein wenig krank aber wahrscheinlich nur müde sein. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 das ist gesünder für den gegenwart, ich bin mir sicher. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 ich sollte "die Gegenwart" geschrieben haben. Buh, ich habe keine Bock mehr. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 "ich habe keine Bock mehr" is an idiom meaning, "I've had it" or "I'm knackered." like "ich habe ein Schnauze voll." in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Hand lettered discarded words. http://t.co/1f8kFjq6 via @brainpicker #
@Keffy @lizargall wish I were going with both of you. I make the disgruntled face instead. in reply to Keffy #
@Keffy trying to choose between psylinked clones & projecting my astral node-self cross country. I think the TSA scans for ectoplasm, though in reply to Keffy #
@lizargall herm, I've gone to ground this year, actually… No cons whatsoever. in reply to lizargall #
Wrote 2000 words on a new story. About time. #writing #
Off to read the inferno and sleep. I keep hoping that Dante will seed my dreams with oddments, but no joy. #
@kateulinah at first glance i read hongdae as "hogsmeade" in reply to kateulinah #
Make your Friday sweeter by reading @john_clute's newly revised #SFE entry on mars: http://t.co/J3zPXjgK #
@monicabyrne13 oh pj in the city. in the same broadsweeping category of fresh life, but from the suburbs: http://t.co/5LkPZs6L in reply to monicabyrne13 #
#wotd via @damiengwalter: "testerical", e.g. "that bro just gets testerical when you criticise him. can't just be a PROFESSIONAL about it." #
Does anybody else feel like Faust? #destroyedbyknowledge RT @qikipedia: More than 50% of koalas have chlamydia #
@ken_schneyer just had an image of the AllGrady, dressed up like Odin, with an eyepatch. in reply to ken_schneyer #
all those mortgagees like the way I lien / when I calculate a rate make cells sizzle green #waitwhat #
@tiffaniangus cryptoforests & the worm might have some tangential relation to your garden book: http://t.co/zvmSlPTJ via @mjohnharrison #
http://t.co/DF1CeGu1 i mapped this site last year–first place i saw a seahare (the flappy slug one that gets mugged at the end). #
if you are a sneaky pete you might be able to get @hollyblack's new novel, "black heart," before the official release date. as in, today. #
Sneaky pete success. Have acquired @hollyblack's new novel 'black heart' http://t.co/oPUJEeXP #
@_kateherrin (such a smart, bleak book.) in reply to _kateherrin #
@hollyblack just re-read red glove to refresh the world in my head. so. good. now to black heart. b&n has no idea what "release date" means. in reply to hollyblack #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-03-25

Paul — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 11:00:00 +0000

@monicabyrne13 a childlike alterego named wayne? is this batman? in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Subcalifragilisticexpialidocious #
WHY YES I COULD DEPRESS MARY POPPINS I GUESS BECAUSE WHEN I DECIDE TO DRESS (well) ALL THE LADIES BLESS (yell) & COULD EVEN SAY I AM THE BES #
–t at origami tigers and maybe you want to look at Pokemon cards with me during lunch. You don't have to. #freestyledevolution #
@monicabyrne13 I will need to watch this television. see you later–i saw a heron yesterday near that lake. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
astula >> astella >> astele >> astelier >> atelier #transition #
http://t.co/S7nnUK54 #pianopowers #jazz #dang #daaaang #
@monicabyrne13 slay that scene, sceneslayer. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
http://t.co/fn83Ec8t good film & a lovely song. chantal goya – tu m'as trop menti #
Tetsuuuuuuooooo-blue-steel RT @samhumphries: Anytime anyone quotes Zoolander I just quote the original English dub of AKIRA in its entirety. #
Starting all the sentences today with "in my dotage…" #
@glorioushubris: In my dotage, I will be too feeble to exit the loop my dotage creates. #
@paolobacigalupi but @scalzi's band names are usually more sordid. So it might end as MY FAVORITE MUFFINTOP in reply to paolobacigalupi #
The kind of tired where "exhausted" rhymes with "gin and tonic." #
In soviet russia, topher grace's portrait throws rocks at YOU. #
@Cait_Elizabeth is there an exact socially-normative-definition-of-masculine equivalent to a baller easter dress? in reply to Cait_Elizabeth #
@taylor_audrey the most delicious of the fatigues. in reply to taylor_audrey #
al esfuerzo y al heroísmo de una revolución #
Hilly porter and the falafel her bones, hilly porter and the jabber of egrets, hilly porter and the reason oar of ad's cabana #
Hilly porter and the giblets I hire, Hilly porter and the border of the kleenex, hilly porter and the lav brie rinse #
Hilly porter and what deaf Lee hollers #
If I start a distillery, my seven year whiskey will be branded "Answers," the twelve year "Solutions," and the eighteen year "Enlightenment" #
Each bottle will come with a book of your vintner's choosing and a map to the nearest pond. #
@taylor_audrey a wave as you blow by. Save travels–if you have time there's an ancient tree in SC I hear is worth seeing. in reply to taylor_audrey #
@mkazoo at the bottom of the eighteen year, an inscription branded into the glass that will make one rejoice when drunk & shudder when sober in reply to mkazoo #
@rquat (got your and @sportsnerd's card. Stoked, naturally.) #
Read: RT @scalzi: I have let a doctor post an anonymous guest post on the subject of mandated transvaginal ultrasounds: http://t.co/jlZ7f234 #
@themattlondon "there's a fleck of something under the screen cover" is the new "out, damn spot" in reply to themattlondon #
@rstevens USE YOUR POWERS, STEVENS. MAKE THIS HAPPEN. in reply to rstevens #
'honeysuckle rose.' (anita o'day's version: http://t.co/IfqLpUBG ) #
@rstevens WE CAN REBUILT THEM. WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY. in reply to rstevens #
@mkazoo it's probably up to me to forcibly take the time. in reply to mkazoo #
to a well organised mind, it is not too dark to read inside of a dog. #
Prince of Privilege: The Sands of Economics #
@damiengwalter I think it involves breathing. Possibly some assmar initiative, now that politicos are all medical professionals. in reply to damiengwalter #
@tiffaniangus unless the character is doing something story-worthy with those chinos, I do not care. in reply to tiffaniangus #
Sf needs a cascade of micro genres like music has… (or please they exist but I'm ignorant of them?) #weirdthings #
Where is written SF's trance, or shoe gaze, or witchmetal, or any of the sundry -cores? #weirdthings #
I can see some patterns. we certainly have subgenres, but not defined by style as much as by subject. #weirdthings #
@themattlondon @tiffaniangus true, and I love a choice detail… in reply to themattlondon #
@themattlondon @tiffaniangus Ex: "His eyes were naturally heavy; he had an air of having wallowed, fully dressed, all day on an unmade bed." in reply to themattlondon #
@themattlondon @tiffaniangus description doesn't have to be all jorts and scars and tousled hair. in reply to themattlondon #
@themattlondon @tiffaniangus …I mean it can be, I guess… (quote was from Conrad, by the way) #
"Deleted for stupid analogy." — John @scalzi
(put this on my headstone) #
@realvalnolan oh sigh-erland in reply to realvalnolan #
Woke up this morning laughing at myself because I had dreamed of a culture that played basketball with only one ball. #
What is that called, when your brain sorts out the reality it prefers? #
@Liz_Hand isn't that kind of silence how you know you're either trapped in an alien constructed reality, or the monster is about to eat you? in reply to Liz_Hand #
When I hear the word "glissando," I imagine a cow-sized beetle with over-oiled mandibles, chittering in arthroaccented Italian. #
"We are a dystopian society, and we don't even notice." RT @paolobacigalupi: My Kirkus op-ed, The Invisible Dystopia. http://t.co/NnU3lVSQ #
CAN. NOT. WAIT. RT @hollyblack: Wooo! RT @Gollancz: Finished copies just in. [...] trilogy by @hollyblack http://t.co/As6gAZN8 #
@alisonluntz have you seen @paolobacigalupi's op-ed on how America is a dystopia for homosexual folks? #
Inevitable Grief Engine #petnames #
Third Cat #petnames #
Are You Drunk? #petnames #
…I really want a dog named "Are You Drunk?" so i can yell, "Are you drunk? Pee on those bushes. Okay, you're done; Get back in the house." #
@damiengwalter isn't brazil the best version of 1984 onscreen? Anyway, John Hurt plays Winston in my head. in reply to damiengwalter #
This dude is a human-sized heap of rogaine and cocaine, all mashed together. #
@taylor_audrey I am ignorant, unfreaked out, and curious. What reference? in reply to taylor_audrey #
whenever i see folks striking that delightful charlie's angels finger-guns pose, i want to give them real pistols & a motive each. #
Them applebottom jeans speak what no words may utter. #tweetspeare #
When griping grief the heart doth wound,
and doleful dumps the mind oppresses,
then git low, git low git low. #shawty #tweetspeare #
grammar lesson gives examples like this: "Ensuite, qu'en est-il du clone?" and i think, an SF primer is the way to teach me a language. #
This book is superb. RT @Liz_Hand: Party for Available Dark tonight — black leather jacket & Tony Lama boots optional http://t.co/xOzGN3GK #
"un sportif canadien." #
"But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly, because I can't afford insurance." #
@indiangurl4lyfe madam, I salute you. in reply to indiangurl4lyfe #
@Liz_Hand me too! Best wishes for the party/readings. Are you going to record any of it? in reply to Liz_Hand #
the reasonable hulk. HULK CAREFULLY CONSIDERS OTHERS' FEELINGS. HULK KNOWS HE IS BIASED. HULK KNOWS SOMETIMES HE NOT GOOD PERSON. HULK SORRY #
@alisonluntz I would read le guin on any subject, anytime. Have you read 'the dispossessed?' aces. in reply to alisonluntz #
Tim Teboleyn #
Folks in NYC, go here. RT: @TheMysterious: Don't forget! Party for AVAILABLE DARK by Elizabeth Hand TONIGHT at 6:30 pm! http://t.co/s3YVnsmE #
Youth lagoon concert. In which i am the cool dad. #
sippin' on that workahol. #delicious #thegrainsofsandthataremylife #hairflips #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-03-18

Paul — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 11:00:00 +0000

to do: lay gold statue of a person on the bottom of a community pool, just to see which kids have read cs lewis. #restimar #
pioneering new handfuls diet: 1) stand at open fridge. 2) indiscriminately ingest handfuls of all you can reach 3) stop when you fall ill. #
in completely unrelated news, we are now out of tortilla chips, princess vitamins, and paperclips. and maybe percocet. #handfulsdiet #
posited: percocet tablets are the real princess vitamins on account of how they make one feel JUST LIKE A PRINCESS. #
@taylor_audrey sorry to report, with argument shattering veracity, that these are gummy princess vitamins. in reply to taylor_audrey #
Entertaining myself by singing "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme" in gollum's voice. #
Some days I'm just glad humans don't have anal glands. #
'Everything you do pleases me; even your name pleases me.' RT @MikeHawthorne: Fellini's letter to Moebius http://t.co/zXIsir0T #
@mkazoo I try to start as many conversations as possible with HEY GURL HEY. It doesn't get me dates, but this works for me, yes. in reply to mkazoo #
@mkazoo also am mostly imagining you swaggering and collar popping. ultimate hilarity. in reply to mkazoo #
Get Carter of Mars #
like Pocahontas that one time. RT @kellysue: Photo: No hit Spider-Man! Best kid ever, via @zdarsky. http://t.co/Vl1EchBL #
Qui est le roi des mèmes sur Internet? #
@GreatDismal i read all of edgar rice burroughs' work when i was fourteen in one binge via project gutenberg. #stygian in reply to GreatDismal #
@mkazoo DEAL. in reply to mkazoo #
@rstevens "he got poop in the newspaper." a high point in both your life, and the lives of many puppies. in reply to rstevens #
if every time i wished i had written already, i wrote, i would right now have a lot of writing written. #
your mom is such a refined lush, she tried to garnish ginseng supplements with a slice of cucumber. #
"I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. /
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. /
I learn by going where I have to go." — roethke #
@damiengwalter write a scene that builds sympathy for someone you hate, from his pov. #writingexercise in reply to damiengwalter #
@damiengwalter the more minds in your head, the better a bitsy inkweasel you will make. #writing in reply to damiengwalter #
Kawaiieezer #jpop #coverband #
"well, it works on MY machine…" #erryday #alldaylong #hideouslyboringworktweets #realtalk #
Harglebargleston, mayor of. #
if lying facedown in the kitchen hating myself for being awake while toaster melts mozarella onto objects is wrong, i don't want to be right #
(i would like to be right about how to spell mozzarella, though, please.) #
Scent of a bunny #pacino #picturebooks #
CRUSH A CHILD'S DREAM. AND. PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET. SAVE IT FOR THE JUDGMENT DAY. #kvltcovers #
@monicabyrne13 did not realize this was a story. Don't know what I thought it was exactly but now I'm excited to see it. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
menopause, menoplay, menorewind #options #
@monicabyrne13 sold out! Superb news for the playwright. May have to skip it though… in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Just used "largesse" in a sentence, but I was talking to myself so I guess it doesn't count. #
This chicken tastes exactly like a delicious lobster. #
Inauthentic authenticity, trends. Excellent essay. “@SelfEdge: SHOTS FIRED: http://t.co/XbYfbcVH” #
@damiengwalter information prostitute. in reply to damiengwalter #
@monicabyrne13 we want to hide the world that shocks us from a curious soul that scales the throat & peeks out over the teeth in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 or, you know, gasp filter. Don't want to suck anything dangerous into the lungs. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
The Hunger Hippos #
@AllisoNicole86 seconded. in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
HE IS XUL SOLAR. HE FIGHTS CRIME. http://t.co/MZxsbjlY #
"Let’s break out of the horrible shell of wisdom and throw ourselves like pride-ripened fruit into the wide, contorted mouth of the wind!" #
et tu, shawty? then get low, caesar. #gitlow #gitlow #
"Humans have never not relied on abstraction as a means of survival. Words themselves are abstractions…" v @moleitau http://t.co/TWqInVLV #
@damiengwalter depends what you mean. As a gateway language or a standalone single most useful language? in reply to damiengwalter #
@damiengwalter depends on what you want to do. Python is good, especially to beginners. JavaScript too, if you want to do mostly webby tasks in reply to damiengwalter #
@damiengwalter harry potter moon and the unfortunate series of games and teeth chronicles in reply to damiengwalter #
To go with 'mansplain,' I offer 'himprecise' and 'dudious claims.' #
Leaving work before the sun sets feels weeeeeeeiiiird, eh. #
Happy quasi-interNational Trollin' @realvalnolan Day. #
I mean, nobody outside of the united states really celebrates saint patti's day, do they? @realvalnolan #
Little know fact: st patti's day actually commemorates the Tuesday in which patti smith drove all the shivs into limerick. @realvalnolan #
Paddy is short for paedroiaeìoggins, a common Irish name. @realvalnolan #
lá atá inniu ann tá mé an-sásta nach mise liom gaeilge @realvalnolan #
Drunken Irish stereotype. Drunken Irish stereotype. Drunken Irish stereotype. Dangerous-looking hand wobble. @realvalnolan in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan is it true then, that the commemoration day of GLORIOUSLY BEATIFIED SAINT PAEĪDROIEAF is really Irish thanksgiving? in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan cracking up at your ambulance news. Er, 'craicing up.' in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan the symbol of this advancement will be a tiger! For it is a most fearsome and crafty beast. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan if you hear a knacker in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed, man. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan but one man cannae ha morran one fadda, kinnee nao? in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan he was wearing a real teal track suit. He had a contract to build a bridge. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan or in limerick apparently, cheesecake. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan oh mercy. I don't even think I've done 90 documentable things in my lifetime. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan eh, mockery aside, if i could be in Ireland right now, i would be. And I'd remember my passport. in reply to realvalnolan #
@realvalnolan sure, and add the Rottweiler to my crime(s). I'm hoping that's some horrendous Irish euphemism. #
trip to the grocery store yielded: eudora welty's collected stories, bottle of nutmeg, and an empty container of blackberries. #

Weekly Tweet Digest – 2012-03-11

Paul — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 11:00:00 +0000

aurora borealis over canada, as seen from the iss – http://t.co/7wzRiGps via @nalohopkinson #
@monicabyrne13 i want the devil to read all my audiobooks. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
20 minutes into 'midnight in paris' & all i want is to give owen wilson a hug, then banish everybody else to new jersey. #
@monicabyrne13 whatever the gods' first language was, we've splashed enough latin around that now all the gods have lost their mother tongue in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@AllisoNicole86 to which state does one go to take out the recycling? in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
@AllisoNicole86 but they also have Los Angeles. in reply to AllisoNicole86 #
well, what would xul solar do? #
graverob everybody and pick the pockets of their mourners. #writing #selfimprovement #
I hope that at least one Caesar self-annihilated under an avalanche of books, but who can be certain? Some perfect history the gods deny us. #
Anybody who chooses authority over other people is a road-squatting cheese thief, and potentially a menace. #
In other news, I have woken up all weird again. instead of putting it to good use on paper I will go to work. #
Sigh sigh, into the mine. Screech screech, unto the breach. #
Anglo-Saxon is English in assembler; French is English with cheat codes. #
If you are dumb then you are dumb. #tauntology #
@damiengwalter if the main marker of geek is focused curiosity, a widening range of interest would naturally follow. in reply to damiengwalter #
@damiengwalter here's hoping, anyway. in reply to damiengwalter #
@alisonluntz Q.E.D, yo. (that 'd' stands for 'dummypuss.') in reply to alisonluntz #
Best nefarious poses = RT @beatonna: Another page from this handy book of recognizing feminists http://t.co/vej7pBJ0 #
I eat normal breakfast food like you for breakfast. #jeer #
@taylor_audrey caste cows? in reply to taylor_audrey #
@_kateherrin ow. Hope you're all right. in reply to _kateherrin #
Is there a blanket and book delivery service to which I could subscribe? #
@monicabyrne13 @mkazoo so: book, blanket, choice of soup, and a temp to do whatever work you currently want to avoid? in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 @mkazoo insightful book recommendation > gigolo in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 @mkazoo 'the Maryland model' – makes you soup, recites the pearl in Anglo-Saxon. Brings new socks. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
And stacks of librarians to shush you to your rest. #
@monicabyrne13 naturlich. My brother, too. Do you want to go to that Cuban place beforehand? in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@lizargall liiiiiiiizzzzzz how are you? in reply to lizargall #
I am the prince of Typo Town, and I survey my kingdon with great satisfaction. #
@monicabyrne13 more like 6:30, please. Much driving to drive. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 I work in garner and my brother is in fuquay. So much driving. When I walk barefoot, the soot of my footprint chokes lilies. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@monicabyrne13 SUPERB. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@lizargall whenever I'm sick, I think of l'engle's "wind in the door" and try to reason with my cells. Hope your farandolae listen. in reply to lizargall #
@thejordache wherein Edison is a bully. #chibitesla in reply to thejordache #
R-S-V-Puhlayuhhhzzz #literallythousandsofweddinginvitations #freecoasters #
Thanes and droogs, mes vieux and homepersons. That is all. #
@mkazoo i look around and think: so many. I had not thought love had undone so many. in reply to mkazoo #
@mkazoo its like looking out over low tide, & everybody's splashing in their own tidepool & nobody is willing to admit the return of the sea in reply to mkazoo #
@mkazoo like looking out over low tide; everyone is splashing two-by-two in their own tidepools, denying the inevitable return of the sea. in reply to mkazoo #
@mkazoo that is the best possible job. Head Poetry Procurist. in reply to mkazoo #
Eternal subsidence of the spotless mine. #insurancefilms #
Empty office jams. http://t.co/Lp8pjLzt #
Empty office jams. John hurt. http://t.co/fXvMUJM7 #
I have never felt so surrounded by other planets. #jupiter #venus #mars #planetarymugging #
Like our moon could help at all if Jupiter decided it was over. #
@alisonluntz I like a universe in which the moon calls us 'ese.' in reply to alisonluntz #
@monicabyrne13 like that absurd vashti bunyan song. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Empty office jams. Softly. http://t.co/mJRZZpnQ #
@monicabyrne13 I don't think I've ever heard Joni Mitchell and been aware it was her. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@alisonluntz the man in the moon has a comet tattooed on his neck to memorialize a fallen comrade. The sea is his fickle lady. in reply to alisonluntz #
@monicabyrne13 I mix her up with Heart, I think. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
Empty office jams. Finishing a day at work. http://t.co/5FE1JOJ4 #
@alisonluntz popeye crossed with tupac. in reply to alisonluntz #
@monicabyrne13 @mkazoo it certainly whet my appetite for more plays. Delightful. in reply to monicabyrne13 #
@alisonluntz moonlight is his creeper lantern, on the watch for Young Ladies not in bed. in reply to alisonluntz #
These gray cranial guts I possess I have washed in the unclean ozone of the machine. Must sleep to leech the code from me. #
@mkazoo @monicabyrne13 I wish we were all here. And by 'here' I mean 'Mongolia.' in reply to mkazoo #
Moebius (jean giraud) is dead. #
Re moebius: first, sadness; next, resolve. His legacy is first what daily work can do both in the mind and hands. Let's go. #
@mkazoo @monicabyrne13 hints of orange in everything, if one develops the palate. in reply to mkazoo #
insurance jokes are the indiest I can make. Few get them, and those who do don't like jokes. #scheduledpersonalpropertylolz #
When the Irish take out their contacts : “@realvalnolan: @paulboccaccio I suspect you'll enjoy this… http://t.co/p39xQx8M” #
@indiangurl4lyfe #hawt in reply to indiangurl4lyfe #